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We plan our leaving party and the holiday after, and we plan our finances – but many forget to plan their lives after they head into retirement, says Maximising Potential development consultant, Angela Robertson.

Having a plan for what your retirement or ‘new direction’ might look like is vital for ensuring people can maintain their sense of identity and wellbeing, she says.

“We’re often defined by our roles and jobs, like being a Mum, or being a plumber. When those activities stop, we have difficulty defining who we are now. Sometimes we introduce ourselves by saying ‘I used to be’. ‘I used to be a plumber’, or ‘I used to be a parent, but my children are all grown up’”, Robertson says.

She believes it is helpful to think of what is happening as a change of direction, of taking on other opportunities and relationships, rather than dwelling on what “used to be”.

But moving away from a workplace or previous commitment can take time to adjust to and may involve a ‘grieving’ style process.

“In our previous roles, we contributed. People depended on us. We were needed and appreciated. When our circumstances change, we feel a sense of loss. We miss the familiar connection, and this can be accompanied by a sense of insignificance – of not mattering”, she says.

In making the transition, it’s important to recognise and acknowledge these feelings.

“Those pulling back from work should take time to really evaluate what they enjoy doing, what matters to them, and the sort of people they enjoy spending time with. Then work to build those elements into their lives. rather than just becoming busy for busy’s sake”, she says.

Redefining your direction

Robertson outlines a number of important questions to ask yourself, as you begin plotting a new course.

• Do I feel appreciated?
• Do I appreciate myself?
• Do I appreciate what skills and abilities I have?
• What are my strengths?
• What do I really enjoy doing?
• Who are the people I really enjoy spending my time with? And, do they appreciate me and me them?

She recommends the Gallup Clifton Strengths Top 5 Strengths Assessment, which costs around $37 and provides users with information on their top five strengths. Robertson runs coaching sessions on applying these strengths effectively within our lives.

Building new relationships

A new direction can mean a need to build new relationships too, as regular contact with our previous work colleagues begins to diminish or plans to spend more time with children and grandchildren fail to come to fruition as envisaged.

Some people think they’re going to spend a lot of time with family, but actually our adult children don’t necessarily want us in their lives all the time, Robertson says.

“Couples need the freedom to raise their own children as well,” she says.

While it’s important to maintain our connections with family and friends, it is also important to make new connections.

“It’s a matter of looking for activities where people have a real interest and where you can meet encouraging, uplifting people to forge friendships with.”

Robertson points to the power of invitation – simply inviting people to come along to something you’re doing, or to go out for a coffee.

“We never know how long we’re going to live, but we could have decades ahead of us, so we can change direction more than once. We can join a book club and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t have to be for life.”

Dr Angela Robertson is about to head off to visit Paper Plus in Blenheim when I call to interview her.  At age 65, she’s much like the people featured in her new books – a long way from the traditional idea of ‘retired’.

She’s making a delivery of her latest book ‘Celebrating Life On Our Own Terms’ which is being launched at the end of this month. It’s come out in quick succession to’ Life On Our Own Terms’, which was released just after lock-down was lifted in July.

ISBN 978-0-473-50082-5     ISBN 978-0-473-51912-4

Both books are a celebration of life in your later years – and what’s possible with a positive mindset. From the 98-year-old ex-Air Force Officer and later NZ Diplomat in Russia that now spends his time painting portraits in Nelson and likes to do parachute jumps on significant birthdays (he intends to do one on his 100th, just as he did for his 90th), to the man making coffins for people from his retirement village on the Kāpiti Coast. Then there’s the former nun (now married) who sits on the executive of Grey Power.

There are short stories of people who have finished up their work life careers to use ‘retirement’ – and in some cases their superannuation money – to launch start-up businesses, doing everything from starting coffee carts (and traveling to Rwanda to work with the coffee growers), to companies providing social connections for those aged 55+ such as Chirpy Plus.

The self-published books are part of Robertson’s Older and Bolder series, with a third one in the making.  They came about after she had a go at semi-retirement herself with the aim of spending more time with her husband.

“I was wondering what everyone else was doing with their time and started asking people how long they had been retired and what they were doing with their time.

“Then I realised that some people hadn’t retired. Or they had retired for about two weeks but thought ‘no, that’s not for me’.”

People kept referring Angela to other people to talk to and she found their lives so inspiring, she offered to write their stories for them. Soon it became apparent there was a book or two in the making to encourage others to maximise the second half of life.  She began trading short stories for a jar of plum and apple jam and a “fancy copy” of the published book.

“People would say – ‘oh, you should talk to so-and-so’ and they would say, ‘I’m not an interesting person’, and then actually you would find out they were,” she says.

While the first book is focused on those aged 65-98 years-old, with many based on the Kāpiti Coast where Robertson lives, the second book looks at people from their mid-50s to mid-80s, with a broader geographical spread around New Zealand.

Having worked at places like the Department of Internal Affairs and Massey University as a professional development practitioner, Robertson is used to focusing on developing others and helping them to find fulfilment. However, she has found inspiration herself through her books.

“It’s become quite a big passion project of mine. I’m inspired by these people – this is how I plan to age,” she says.

“I’m going through a transition myself. For me now its about writing and encouraging people to be the best they can be and to lead fulfilling lives.”

Robertson says there can be a lot of anxiety about turning 50, 60 and 70. However, people can have decades still to live and many have more choices than they’ve ever had once the heavy-lifting of caring for families and maintaining careers recedes.

“This is an age of opportunity. Everyone has some activities and projects they’d like to pursue, relationships they’d like to develop, and unfulfilled ambitions that we can now undertake. What were they? What did you always want to learn, do, or where did you want to go to?  It’s never too late to start!

“You can say ‘oh yes, but…’ and have a reflective life of disappointment, or you can look forward with gratitude. Ageing is a mindset and how you feel about that impacts on how you age.”

Celebrating Life On Our Own Terms will be launched on 29th September at the Council Chambers in Levin (1-3pm).  A second event will also be hosted on 30th September at Te Newhanga Kāpiti Community Centre in Paraparaumu (1-3pm) to help accommodate safe social distancing.

The latest book will be available from Paper Plus stores, from Robertson herself and online from Fishpond.  It’s also available online in ebook and Kindle formats.

Robertson is available for speaking events.  Kiaora@angelarobertson.nz

Mid-life is a time for reflection, revisioning, and reigniting our lives. In the past we may have been focused on learning, earning and raising our families. With so many responsibilities there may have been limited time to put our energy into the relationships and activities that matters most to us. Looking ahead, towards what we may traditionally call ‘retirement’, we have potentially only lived for two-thirds of our lives. Compulsory retirement is a thing of the past in the developed world. A new life-stage has been created for which we have no terminology. We are growing older, but we are not ‘over the hill’, ‘worn out’, ‘un-productive’, ‘old’ or ‘elderly’ at any pre-determined age. Age brings advantages that no previous generation has had. This is a cause for celebration as the potential to live longer and healthier lives creates new opportunities and exciting challenges for everyone.

What thoughts come to mind when you think ahead? On the same journey myself I wondered how others aged 60 + had approached this stage in their lives. What was their perspective on ageing? Had they planned ‘retirement’? How did they transition from one stage of life to another or was this a continuous journey? How were they spending their additional years? Like many people I read widely on the subject, but I wanted to hear personal stories from ordinary, everyday people, who were also on this life journey. I randomly asked people to share their stories with me in exchange for a pot of home-made jam. During our conversations I captured the context of their earlier lives, their plans and lifestyle choices. It was a humbling experience. These individuals are living fabulous, fulfilling lives, on their own terms. It’s with their permission that I can share their stories with you.

Let me introduce you to these remarkable individuals in my book ‘Life On Our Own Terms’.  This paperback edition is available in New Zealand from Paper Plus bookstores or directly from me at kiaora@angelarobertson.nz

Copies can also be purchased online from Amazon.com (kindle and paperback) and Barnes and Noble.com (ebook)

There has never been a better time. Globally the population is ageing. By 2025 there will be an estimated 1.25 billion people over the age of 60. Annually the number of centenarians is growing. Although there is no way of knowing how long we are going to live, with dramatic improvements in health care and notable increases in life expectancy, there is a good chance that many of us will live to 90 and beyond – a lot longer than our predecessors. Increased longevity provides us with so many opportunities, so why does society have such a pernicious view of ageing?  Let’s face it, many of us struggle with the reality of growing older. Few of us look forward to being 50, 60, 70 or 80 years of age. Nevertheless, ageing is inevitable. Whilst we have no control over our chronological age, if we proactively take care of our physical and mental wellbeing, we can influence our biological age. The chances of living a full, healthy, enjoyable life are higher than ever, when we make good lifestyle choices to maximise the benefits and minimise the drawbacks of getting older. While it is appreciated that we are all wired differently, how we age and how we feel about it influences our lifestyle choices.

Increased longevity offers so many opportunities. What choices are you making?

Looking for an inspirational speaker on Age and Opportunity? Contact me kiaora@angelarobertson.nz